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05 February 2018

What a Real Man Is…


There’s no mold for what a real man is. There’s no perfect description. Nothing set in iron or stone. No mold to conform to. It’s not a mindset. Nor specific character trait.

It’s respect for humanity and its many different shapes and styles.

I’ve been thinking a lot about a “list” I could give my sons as they take on life and all its trials and tribulations. They need to know that life isn’t about how much money you make, how much you lift or how thick your beard is. Life is about being a good dude – in ALL aspects of life.

It also means to not conform to social norms just because everyone else seems to. You have to be an individual in thought – meaning, you should be making all choices based on the original idea of being a good dude.

For instance, do you post on social media to impress and show off or do you post to show what you are proud of, your kids, career … you know … your actual life. Not smoke and mirrors. Is what you put on social media a genuine representation of you as a person, or who you want to be?

Society has strayed so far from reality. When you look in the mirror, is it still you? Or is the person looking back at you, someone who other people have validated as being successful? I think we’ve all been influenced through social media in regards to what a “real” man is.

For me, I cannot and will not accept what society has told me a man is. I won’t let my sons soak up that falsehood.

For my sons:

Be good to those around you. Use manners even when other people don’t. Be respectful to others; there will be those who won’t like you and won’t agree with you. That’s okay. You can’t please everyone so please don’t try to.

There will be those who live to harm others. Always protect yourself and those around you who are less fortunate. Be brave. Talk to girls. Take risks that others won’t. A real man is not defined by his looks, but how he looks after others.

Your loyalties will be tested. Always do what’s right in your heart. If you love red, wear fucking red. If you love blue, fucking rock blue.

Have a mind of your own. Look in the mirror and always recognize the person looking back. When life gets hard and you can’t seem to figure out why, most likely it’s the man in the mirror and life choices need to be made.

Cry. It’s okay to shed some tears, and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Be proud of who you are. Be proud of your family no matter what.

A real man stands up for the weak. Be a “savage gentleman.” Kick some ass when you need to. Otherwise, be a gentleman to everyone.

Hold the door open for others. Because why the fuck not?

Own up to your mistakes and never deflect blame. You don’t need to bench 400 pounds; measure strength in your heart.

A real man will braid his daughter’s hair. A real man tells his wife or significant other how beautiful they are every day.

You’re going to fuck up from time to time. That’s okay as long as you work to make it right EVERY time.

A real man is quick to listen, not to speak. He also knows when to shut the hell up.

A real man has a red couch. HELL YEAH I HAVE A RED FUCKING COUCH. Hahaha 

A real man knows that life is a fucking difficult process of creation, not discovery. Don’t be afraid to die, but certainly don’t be afraid to live.

A real man knows that everything true lies within; the other shit is just what people tell you. Screw that. Be happy for every single damn blessing you have, no matter how big or small they may seem.

A real man knows when to take off his hat, and when to lead the troops. He knows the difference between arrogance and pride. A real man has integrity, honor, character and respect. A real man doesn’t need to be admired.

A real man pays it forward and chooses to make a positive difference in this fucked up world every day.

Most important, a real man chooses to be good because it’s the right thing to do, not because he receives credit from it.

Just be a good dude….



5 Responses

  1. Ralph Puga

    Yes Sir. Couldnt agree more. Its the things we ponder about everyday. The future of our children. Like always, a good read.

  2. Justin Kinard

    Thank you sir for putting words I have lived by for years on the world stage to teach other. I have had many many people thru the years bust my balls because I do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.

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